Calm & Chaos

They will tell you to keep calm. They will tell you to be the voice of reason, to turn the other cheek, to be present. They will tell you that the cure to chaos and disorder is order and stability.

It has not been my experience that this is the case. My calm is based on my morning routine, my behavior before I see a soul. I have spent the last two years attempting to finish at least one drawing before anyone else in my home wakes up. My morning time is indicative of an order, a constant. During the calm that is morning I am able to produce by myself.

However, it is perhaps not so easy to negotiate a situation borne of chaos by trying to utilize this same calm as a governing structure, but rather, it seems necessary to meet chaos with an energy compatible with chaos. Perhaps, then, it is more important to be aware of the calm already present within moments and situations dredged in chaos, than it is to try to impose a sense of stability over a scene rife with disorder.

The multiples series of work that I have been producing this year have revolved around this idea of meeting chaos with order. The jazz grid pieces were not a stand alone sort of communication, it would appear.

Recently, I have become obsessed with the idea of replication. Events, objects, emotions; it seems that nothing involving human production on this planet is entirely replicable. While we attempt to maintain a consistency in our replication, it is a fools errand. My fascination with replication was derived from my attempts to use pen and ink, keeping my lines parallel and as consistent as possible, an impossibility of sorts.

As the focus from the object shifted to the replication of the original representation of that object I became interested in the idea of the mandala, an art form which dissolves into nothingness after its completion. As I've been reproducing my strokes the piece becomes less and less about that original object, so the replication is no longer important. Also the variations between the individual objects not longer matters as few people will look beyond the pattern to notice those differences. The very idea that I've built the piece upon has dissolved.

I am finally nearing a piece in my practice and my personal life. It is a welcome change. I must meet the chaoses of my life with an energy which is compatible. I must try to replicate the good that I see every day and accept the poor replications as they come.